I awoke yesterday morning, Sat., Aug. 13, 2022, at the yoga retreat center in Kabupaten Badung, Bali. Yah... let that soak in...I'm thrilled to be here, and feel so abundantly blessed. The odd thing,...I was awakened by this glorious kirtan music playing from the shaalaa (a sanskrit originated word, meaning house, abode, place - in this case a covered open air yoga space). It seemed as if it was playing on the sound system, loud enough to be heard in our rooms, but there was a soft lovingness, as if it were a lullaby, and invitation to gather. The phone cued me that it was about 5:00 a.m. The story I created in my head was, "oh,...wonderful, a musical early wake up call to come and meditate." I felt almost magnetically drawn to be there. I focused on the fewest things I needed to do before leaving my room, and simplified it to morning kriyas.
In this case a few simple shatkarma "cleansing" techniques, designed to not only clean the outside of the body, but to purify it more internally as well. This is in preparation of developing greater and greater focus and capacity of the physical body, and Prana "sheaths" or layers, coverings of life force in each of us, to sustain more pure levels of higher consciousness, with the goal of "moksha" or liberation from the illusion of our separate nature. Realizing the full bliss of Infinite, changeless Consciousness, Love, that is our true nature! Yes, that is a lot, and not like deciding to run a marathon. It is a lifetime of abhyasa - diligent, focused practice... or lifetimes??? The water in the bathroom wasn't running - what? How strange! "Oh," my mental story continued, "they turned off the water, so we would all gather to get filtered water for our morning prep." So, settled with using my saline solution in my "neti pot" to rinse the nasal passages and make Pranayama breathing techniques easier. I put on a layer of comfortable clothes, slipped on my flip flops and quietly opened my door stepping out into the pre-dawn peace and quiet. Very few birds or frogs were even singing yet. The glow of the shaalaa in the darkness felt like a light to a moth - I was so happy to be going there, and so excited for the "surprise event" details to be revealed.
I slipped my thongs off my feet, keeping our practice space clean and entered to find a young man resting briefly. He jumped to his feet and started mopping the floors again. There was no music. The lights were on because he was cleaning our beautiful space, a service of "karma yoga" or selfless service to others. Somehow, it didn't matter, I was so glad to be there. It felt like when I longed to see my husband Bruce when we were dating, and would have such joyous anticipation of getting together. I felt "in love." "Hmmm, well, I'm here so lets meditate!" I settled myself in a comfortable position, in which I could potentially remain motionless for awhile, and attempted to create the same peace, love, and motionless state in the shape of my mind. "I'm sitting, I'm breathing - where is everyone? I'm sitting, I'm breathing - what just happened? I'm sitting, I'm breathing - maybe the leader played the music on the sound system and then slipped away to be undiscovered. I'm sitting, I'm breathing - my God, I'm losing my mind. I'm sitting, I'm breathing - who could I safely admit this to,...hmmm, ...do I need help?" The thoughts drifted in and out of my consciousness, and soon I was left in peace, as if a pestering pet dog finally realizes I will NOT give it my attention, and it lays down near me, still making noises and nibbling on a paw, with an occasional sigh, but I am no longer distracted. Soon the peace of the darkness, the glow of the landscape lights, the warmth and magnetic attraction to be quiet and sit peacefully by myself saturated my body, and I was better able to practice drishti kosha (focused gaze at the space inside the third eye) with my eyes gently closed.
I became aware of closeness, presence outside myself, and gently opening my eyes saw that our little group of 10 yoginis from around the world had gathered for our 6:30 a.m. asana practice (physical poses as part of "hatha" or "kriya" yoga which is only one of 8 limbs on the yoga sutras of Patanjali. Physical practice is the newest of the yogic traditions and theory/practice, and were originally just practiced poses to allow remaining still in meditation for longer and longer periods. The "eight limbed system of yoga" was compiled by Patajali from earlier oral traditions in around 400 CE, but the systems of "sun salutations" etc. were only created later in the 19th century. The goal is the development of the physical body through strength, flexibility and endurance to withstand the onslaught of transcendental states of consciousness. Otherwise, imagine a breaker switch suddenly sending 3,000 volts of electricity through a house wired for 120 volts. Fried!
So,... what the ____ just happened? Since I arrived in Bali I have been getting up somewhere between 5:30-5:50, to be ready for our 6:30 a.m. asana practice. I AM NOT a MORNING PERSON! This has taken planning, preparing things for the morning the night before (setting the stage to be successful,) getting to bed earlier than usual, motivation, inspiration of others and the many rewards to be gained from my practice, and dedication. Dedication takes applying our will. Though not as successful, I began slowly shifting and working at this in February, nearly 6 months before this retreat. But, as we make the hard choice to make a new decision in our behavior, then act it out once, twice, ugh, again, and again, we rewire our nervous system to allow the originally difficult action, and to even enjoy it, and look forward to it. Now, start small. Don't change everything at once. Find a few friends, or cohorts to "meet the challenge together" and then be gentle and kind with yourself as you fail, start again, fail, start again and so forth, until "voila!" Prepare your environment for success, avoid distractions, share your adventures with others to inspire them, as well as help them know they are "typical" and a result of the human condition as well. Hmmm,...what would you like to do differently in your life? Would you like more peace, and calm? Break that goal down, find 8 different ways you can approach the goal - multiple tiny steps if you will. Find your guiding motivation - why make this change. Set up pictures of yourself successfully doing it around the house, or pictures of your loved ones whom are happy for your choice. Choose one new behavior or action, write it on the calendar (type it into Google calendar) and begin. Be kind, be persistent, and return to why you are doing it. You have the power to change your whole life, your existence, your consciousness and ability to thrive in any circumstance. Yes, you!!! Ready, set, ....go! I know you can do it.
The funny thing is, I asked our co-director, did you play that music in the shaalaa this morning at 5:00 a.m.? "Oh, that sounds wonderful,..." and beaming a secret smile he walked away. Okay, I guess its a whole new topic. "Invitations from the Divine" or "Mental Instability?" Ha, ha. Until later - take ownership of your life. Then we will check in. Feel free to leave comments regarding these topics, my stories, or actions you are taking in your own life! Okay beloved ....
Namaste Om,
Love, Light, and Laughter,
Asha - Shawn
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